Round 5 - My Mountain of Rankings

#1 - King of the Hill - Melbourne Storm Many good Rugby League sides would have lost to the Broncos last weekend, but not the Storm, no sir. I could really just copy/paste what I wrote last week but there is no literary talent in that. So I will just use my expansive vocabulary to say it in different and more complex wording. The Storm played admirably this past weekend and continued to show that they are consummate professionals on the park. Expectations for Round 5: The Tigers will require a titanic effort if they are to surpass the Storms marvellous squad during their Monday night encounter. Literary genius aside, Tigers = quite bad. Storm = super duper good.

#2 South Sydney Rabbitohs The Bunnies did what was expected of them last week, show up, play some half decent footy and head home with the two points. Pretty standard showing from Souths; they did pretty much what was expected of them. I'm interested to see how they will perform when a team really turns up to play them though, so far they haven't been really tested by an opposition in both attack and defence. Expectations for Round 5: Walk into New Zealand (maybe fly if they can't walk on water), walk out with two points. If they lose this game it will be hilarious!

#3 Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs The Bulldogs played pretty rubbish and still managed to keep it close against the mob from Redfern, so that in itself is a pretty impressive effort. As expected, Ben Barba took a while to find his feet but in time he'll get right back into the swing of things and the Bulldogs will be back from the dead (and mind you, dead for the Bulldogs still leaves them as one of the top five sides in the comp). Expectations for Round 5: Another tough game for the Doggies this week against Manly. Although they have a lot of improvement in them the Dogs still might be able to pull out the win, mainly because the Sea Eagles have the potential to show up completely flat and get rolled. I honestly have no idea what to expect from this game, should be entertaining though!

#4 Gold Coast Titans These blokes are playing tough, I love watching them play. A little bit of tough defence and some good old fashion go forward in attack is working well for them and they're taking out quality opposition. Not really sure about Greg Birds hairstyle but who cares really? I'm not a fashion guru so I don't know what's all hip and all that but I suppose it works, he's playing lights out after all. Expectations for Round 5: The Titans seem to have an everlasting chip on their shoulder whenever they take on the Broncos, but I think they've got it in them to give them Broncos a good old fashion spanking.

#5 Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles This was a messy win to say the least, but I never had any doubt Manly were going to run out winners against the Tigers. Despite seeing one of the most ridiculous tries I have ever seen; this game probably needs to be forgotten by both teams as they look towards the rest of the season. Manly did what they do best however and poured on a few late tries to nudge their points differential up a little bit. Expectations for Round 5: I'd be hesitant to back Manly in the wet again which is why I'm sort of favouring the Doggies this week. If the Dogs can string a few passes together I think Manly could be exposed pretty easily, however if Manly are on song I can see them putting this game to bed early.

#6 Newcastle Knights So these guys still look like a footy team, which is awesome. Tyrone Roberts is awesome. Where does this leave Kurt Gidley? Well, that is a very good question. Either way the Knights are playing well at home, so last week was always going to end well for them. Expectations for Round 5: The Dragons should be easy enough to take care of, the main hurdle for the Knights will be the fact that they have to play away from home. The one game they played away so far this year was just completely disastrous. They should be okay though, so long as Roberts is there.

#7 Sydney Roosters I hate having the Roosters up so high because I get the feeling that they're just going to disappoint me this week. Beating the Eels by 50 is kind of an impressive effort though so I have to reward them for playing so well. James Maloney lit up the stage and played like he did to get the Warriors to the Grand Final which was amazing to see. It's not hard to see that this team is fired up and I for one hope they can keep it going! Expectations for Round 5: I think the Chooks might get done this week. I want them to keep it up but I have a feeling they'll be complacent and the Raiders will gear up because they're playing at home. They could easily be looking ahead to the Bulldogs game in Round 6, but I guess we'll find out.

#8 Brisbane Broncos I swear I used to hate the Broncos so I don't know why I'm so fond of them this season. I guess it would have to be that they're always having a go (unlike some other soft teams). These blokes put in a solid effort against the Storm last weekend and very nearly beat them, which is one hell of an effort. It was an awesome turnaround from their game against the Chooks and I can see them upsetting a few teams as the year progresses. Expectations for Round 5: The Titans have had the hot hand of late, it will require every ounce of talent in the Broncos lineup to tear them away from this winning run they have been on. Also they'll have to pray to all the Rugby League gods that Hodges can come back and stay injury free.

#9 Penrith Panthers The Panthers tried their hearts out but just weren't able to come away with the points last weekend. It was a tough and entertaining game, the Panthers would have beat a bunch of other sides but the Titans just showed up to play some footy. Tom Humble had a ripper of a game and I think he might just have a place in the Penrith number 6 jersey (sorry Coote). Cleary has these guys on the right track though and I think they'll be back on track come next week. Expectations for Round 5: I don't know what the heck has happened to the Cowboys, losing to the Warriors just came out of nowhere so the Panthers are very much in with a chance to take two points out of this game.

#10 Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks I don't know what happened to these guys, sure Toddy went down but Robson is no slouch, he did his bit and you guys were very much in the game. The Sharks just need to throw out last week's tape and get on with it. I kind of like Chad Townsend so I think they can do well with him in the halves. I hope the Sharkies get back into the winning circle because I'd hate to think of the Carney sob stories that will be in the paper should they collapse into a heap of poo. Expectations for Round 5: Don't worry guys! The Sharks take on Parra this weekend and they should be able to get their team back on track. Provided Parra still can't remember how to play football. I guess all the Sharks have to do is run Fifita at Sandow all night, fool proof plan right?

#11 North Queensland Cowboys C'mon Cowboys, you're better than this! Sitting three spots off the bottom of the ladder and they're still $14.00 to win the comp. That is bloody amazing. Shows what a ridiculously squad they have, these guys really just need to pull their finger out because they have lost the plot. They shouldn't be making any silly errors. JT needs to get his guys back in the zone, they are too good to be sitting down the bottom of the ladder with the likes of Canberra and the Warriors. Expectations for Round 5: The Panthers have been playing tough football and if the Cowboys think they can just come out and go through the motions and get a win then they've got another thing coming to them. They'll have to pull out all of the tricks from their bag in order to take out these big boys from Penrith.

#12 Wests Tigers What the heck is going on with these guys? Is Anasta seriously going to play halfback this week? Oh how I feel for all you Tigers fans out there. Last week I was praising them and had them moving up the board, now they've done their best Eels impression and completely imploded and covered Western Sydney in a pile of Tiger droppings. Play consistent footy lads, cmon! Expectations for Round 5: I suppose this all depends on which Tigers team decides to turn up? They'll either get blown off the park or they'll very nearly beat the Storm. If this team turns up to play I think they'll beat the Storm. That is a big if though.

#13 Canberra Raiders I don't think anyone expected much from the Raiders while they were away from home. Knights pretty much took care of them without too much hassle and the Raiders just sort of let them. Their halves are playing like they're afraid to make a mistake, which isn't working because they're making a whole lot of them! Expectations for Round 5: I half expect these guys to take down the Roosters this weekend. The Roosters could easily be complacent after their big win last week, and the Raiders are playing in the only place they can win, Canberra. Seems like the makings of a fantastic upset! The Raiders will have to play well though, because it seems like the Roosters mean business.

#14 St. George Illawarra Dragons So these guys were not completely horrible for once... that's a start. They also scored some points for once, also pretty cool of them. Make no mistake about it though; this team has a long way to go. When I say long way, I'm not talking Sydney to Wollongong in peak hour traffic, I'm talking like they should have started work half an hour ago and they just woke up. Get a move on Dragons! The rest of the comp isn't going to wait for you to get to their level! Props on the win though boys. Expectations for Round 5: Knights are like a slightly better version of the Tigers, so the Dragons may actually go back to back, especially since it isn't in Newcastle. I expect the Knights will bump them off their little baby pedestal though.

#15 New Zealand Warriors Remember that time the Warriors didn't shave for ages and they played awesome football? Well if I was Matt Elliot I'd be telling all my players to not shave. Beards for everyone! Although I'm kind of glad I'm not Matt Elliot because the Warriors are still woeful. I only suggested the beard thing because they need all the help they can get. But, to their credit they did score some points in the first half last week. This is a start. Expectations for Round 5: I hope they beat Souths, it would be so funny and I would be so happy. But realistically there is zero chance of that happening, they should be aiming to score a try in the first half again, it worked for them last week.

#16 - Why do you even turn up? - Parramatta Eels I think laughter was everyone's immediate response when fulltime hit on Monday night, how the hell do you get ripped to shreds by the Roosters? That pack of nuffies (that's definitely a word) hadn't scored more than 16 points in their previous games. You let them crack that in each half! These guys are a long way from even thinking about winning a game. It's time for Ricky to throw away the clip board and start fresh with these guys. First on the agenda should be how to tackle. Expectations for Round 5: The Sharks will be fuming that they let the Dragons get the better of them last week; they'll be able to handle the loss of Todd Carney for now, I expect they'll give it to the Eels much like the Chooks did.