Finally... the footy is back! After a summer of watching Michael Clarke pull hamstrings and wondering whether Nick Kyrgios actually paid money for that haircut, the greatest game of all has returned to our screens. With round one done and dusted, here are some bold predictions for what will unfold this weekend.
Jack Wighton to throw haymakers at the ball boy because apparently he looked at him sideways.
Sosaia Feki will throw the first punch in any scuffle he is involved in after some intensive training on how to throw them from Paul Gallen.
George Rose to last 16 minutes in his first stint on the field. Last week he only managed 14, so will be better for the run.
James Hasson to quit rugby league and start a career in MMA after he is informed that the UFC is coming to Melbourne in November.
Ben Barba to only have four poor kicks in general play as pandemonium erupts in the shire.
The media to ask Shane Flanagan and Wayne Bennett the same first question in the post match press conference after Anthony Milford produces another ordinary performance. "Why are you playing your fullback at five-eight?"
Jason Taylor realises it was a big mistake to get Luke Brooks to teach Mitchell Moses how to tackle legally all week during training, as the Dragons race to a 24 nil lead after 15 minutes.
Geoff Toovey blows up and calls for an investigation as Brett Stewart announces he has signed a $5 million, five year contract with the Bulldogs 30 minutes after Manly get whooped by the Storm.
Josh Hoffman to recreate his hero Robbie Fowler's famous goal line celebration after scoring the match-winning try…. then remembers his clubs current situation.
Moses Mbye does his ACL seven minutes into the match and Des Hasler finally understands why everyone warned him to not have a bench full of props.
18th man Sione Mata'utia is a late inclusion in the Knights team for Akuila Uate because the flying Fijian is sick of Dane Gagai not passing him the ball.
That's it from me punters. As always I hope your team wins but your back pocket wins more.
