8 hours ago
A NEW HOPE
A few weeks ago, in a football club not so far away?
Episode MMVI A NEW HOPE
It is a period of civil war. Turmoil has engulfed the Rabbitoh Republic. Several thousand club members have declared their intentions to leave the Republic.
The separatist movement led by the young and idealistic freedom fighter Russell Crowalker, and his mysterious older companion Peter Holmes-Kenobi, both guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, attempt to settle the conflict.
The two Bunni Knights implore the Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating a PRIVATISED ARMY OF THE RABBITOH REPUBLIC to assist the overwhelmed Bunni?s in their attempt to return the Republic to it?s former glory.
The evil lord Darth Piggins, obsessed with foiling young Crowalker, has dispatched thousands of half-truths and rumours into the far reaches of Redfern.
It is a dark time in the Rabbitoh Republic. Darth Piggins, the evil Souths Lord, has overthrown the Rabbitoh Republic and is attempting to become emperor of the Redfern Empire. If he has his way the Republic will remain ever enshrouded in the rapidly fading former glory of yesteryear. Years ago, in his attempt to gain ultimate power, Piggins systematically searched for all the Bunni Knights in South Sydney, and wiped them out.
However by sheer coincidence, two outspoken media droids and long time supporters of the Rabbitoh Republic, the ever-loyal AND-2 DEN-2N and his colleague R4Y-M4RT1N0, met with the young Russell Crowalker. It was as a result of this encounter that they came across Bunni Knight, Peter Holmes-Kenobi. The boy and the mysterious old man soon became acquainted, and, as is the case with males of any generation, the conversation turned to football.
"For several generations the Bunni Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the Rabbitoh Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire," explained Peter Holmes-Kenobi who had lived long enough to remember the good old days.
"How did the club die?" the puzzled youth asked, keen to discover more about the myths of the once glorious club.
"A young Bunni named Darth Piggins, who turned to evil, helped hunt down and destroy the Bunni Knights. He betrayed and murdered your football club.You must learn the ways of the Pride if you are to come with me to Redfern,? instructed the wizened man.
?Peter, I?ve always wondered what is ?The Pride???
?The Pride is what gives a Bunni his power. It's an energy field created by all Rugby League. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the Rabbitohs together,? responded the old man. Crowalker hung his head, then looked up - straight into the older man?s eyes.
?I want to come with you to Redfern. There is nothing in New Zealantooine for me now. I want to learn the ways of the Pride and become a Bunni,? and with that the four of them left, attempting to change the fate of their beloved club and restore the Pride to the League.
Before long they were at their destination. ?There it is, Souths Leagues. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious? The two men, followed closely by the media droids, proceeded towards the club, supported by the might of the small but vocal Rebel Alliance, where they'd confront Darth Piggins and attempt to topple him from power.
Along the way to the club, advertisements were published and statements were made, by Darth Piggins and Grand Moff Morris, hoping to crush the strong willed Russell Crowalker and his attempt to return the club to its former glory. Crowalker, worried about the rebellion?s reaction to the disparaging press, turned to his mentor for advice.
?Use the Pride, Russ.? Peter Holmes-Kenobi?s words echoed in his head. He would not let Piggins? taunts dissuade him on his course to enlighten the Redfern Empire.
The time finally arrived when good would meet evil, and forever shape the future of the club ? one way or another.
The Rebel Alliance won the vote, by more than the required 75%, to form the Privatised Army of the Rabbitoh Republic, while sending the vile Darth Piggins careening out of control into oblivion.
Darth Piggins vowed he would never return to the Rabbitoh Republic, but Crowalker was more optimistic, ?There is still good in him. I can feel it.?
Now thanks to Russell and Peter?s proposal for the South Sydney Rabbitohs, ?The Pride will be with you, always?
(With apologies to George Lucas and everyone involved with South Sydney)