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Disgraced former dual international Andrew Walker on Saturday apologised for taking cocaine, saying he got caught in "a moment of madness".
The Manly rugby league star tested positive to an Australian Sports Drug Agency (ASDA) random drug test after an August 22 match against Souths at North Sydney Oval, a Sydney newspaper reported.
"I was out with friends or I thought were my friends," he told the newspaper.
"I feel so hurt by what I've done.
"I'm sorry I've done it. This has stung me to the heart."
The drug was consumed by Walker at a party where he had been drinking despite signing an agreement with Manly that he would not consume alcohol, the paper said.
"It was one moment of madness, one blemish and I got caught," he said. "I've been strong in the past but I collapsed and have let myself down.
"I was out with friends or who I thought were my friends. Real friends wouldn't have brought it (the drug) out.
"But it takes two to tango. I feel so hurt by what I've done. I am sorry but I have done the crime. I'm not walking away from what I've done."
Walker, who starred for the Wallabies before being axed for disciplinary reasons and returning to league, said his friends thought it was a good thing to have a party.
"I've had a hard life - you guys wouldn't understand ... I've had a great career in rugby league and rugby union - it is a shame I have gone out like this," he told the newspaper.
"I would have liked to have finished my career in a better way.
"I have let down my family, the Manly fans, my manager Wayne Beavis and the club - Manly was the club that had helped me out.
"But I just wanted this out in the open. There was no point in trying to hide from it. I wanted to tell people the truth.
"I've hurt people I love. I now just want to live my life with my family."