We huddled around the goal posts in a group, cursing and swearing at the referee who had penalised us for a forward pass when I was on the 25 and on my way to the line unopposed. I told him he was a f**king idiot, so he marched us ten yards towards the posts. The Topanga Topknots goal-kicker Mungo Wilkes lined up the goal, right in front and only 15 out; even his dead grandma would